This is a Revolution

Well, I snapped. I broke through. I have come to the realization that my life is the resemblance of a stick in the mud. The little part of the stick, that is sticking out of the mud, is Sarah, giving me air. Other than that, I am a loser. Since graduating high school, back on June 5th, 2008, I have gained 40-45 pounds. I am lazy and irresponsible. I am selfish and undeserving. Although my friends do tell me otherwise, I shouldn't have to prove myself to them. Sure, they may like me and appreciate me, but I need to appreciate myself before I can truly impact their lives. So I have made my decision.


About a year ago, I was enlisted in the U.S. Navy. I was signed on for 5 years and would be going to school in Pensacola, Florida. My job was a CTr, which really means Cryptology Technician with that "r" representing some sort of sub-title. I was terrified of leaving. I had began a relationship that I didn't want to see fall to pieces. I have most of my family around me here. All of my friends are staying here. I just love New Lenox. Yes, I will agree with you, this town can be boring, and we all say how much we hate it, but after realizing that I need more, I appreciate this town so much! But it dawned on me that I was too weak to leave here. So, I dropped out. I gave the recruiters hell, and I backed down.


Last evening, I went and visited some long lost family/friends. It was Cory Ende's grandma and his aunt. I grew up there and spent a lot of time with Gram. We talked about the economy. We talked about the war. We talked about Cory. But before anything was said, I knew. I knew that I was re-enlisting. Nothing has to be said about Cory for me to want to go back. All I had to do was look at him and realize how far he has come. This is the same Cory that drove me down some country road at 90 miles an hour and made me go to the bathroom out the window. This is the same Cory that blew up mailboxes with me. This is the same Cory that ran away from home and came to my house. He tells me story's about how beautiful the world is. He tells me about how the money is. He tells me how awesome his apartment is. He just bought a new truck. But most of all, I can see the discipline in him.


So I knew I was back. I have changed my mind. I am going to re-enlist around December and be in basic training by January. It's best for me. I may be far away, but I will always be a part of New Lenox. I will always be apart of Sarah's heart. I will always be found, sitting on the end of JB's drive way, smoking a cigarette. I will always be found in Timmy's basement playing cards. I will always be found on stage, playing with the youth band. Don't worry, friends, I'm here. I'll always be here. I love you all so much, that I want you to see me succeed.


Don't get me wrong, though; there are plenty of concrete reasons for wanting to go back, too. I am sick and I am tired of being nickeled and dimed (aka "Nickel-Dime aphobia). I can barely make my bills, and tuition goes up, and I have to start paying rent (which doubled since the last time I heard about rent, which seems unfair and doesn't make sense). I am broke and I am sick of it. I am so irresponsible, it's ridiculous. I can't make my bed, I don't put my laundry away, and I just, for some reason, do not like to clean up after myslef. I'll learn that. Plus, while I'm learing this new lifestyle, I'm getting paid. Can you really argue my decision?