Day 21

I just have to say one thing: Go Cardinals (not St. Louis, I'd rather be dead). I love watching underdog teams go on to win it all. Though I am a Bears fan, and that most of the nation believes they are the TOP dog, I still think it's awesome to see a cinderella type of story.

Being nicotine free has given me the confidence to be better than most people. Though I do have to admit, I slipped again today. It was nasty. I don't know why. It makes no sense. I have no reason to do it. I have been preaching to you about how stupid it is and how gross it is and how much better I feel about myself. But I did it. I am a failure to you all. Forgive me for letting you down. I hope you really don't think less of me. It will no longer happen again. I am still a non-smoker, but my words can only take you so far. I apologize for leading you all on to an awesome finish and then miss the free throw (sports analogy). Can my story go on, or should I start over? Please let me know.

Day 20

It's been 2/3 of a month being a non-smoker. It's been nice, to tell you the truth. Even though I have been telling you stupid daily stories. It has helped me all the way. Even though you may not have had any part in my quitting, but like I have said, by you just reading this, you have given me the strength to keep it away!

I hate nicotine. It consumes all of my best friends. I feel like I am a better person because I don't have to be as dependant as they are.

I can't wait till softball season and test out my new lungs!

Day 19

The date on this probably says I skipped a day, but it's just 12:10 am and I'm just getting around to it. Sorry. Anyways. Blagojevich is done? WOO HOO! Lol. What a loser. Who doesn't show up to their own impeachment trial?! I wonder if he is a smoker...

So, when I got my ticket back in November, I was given a court date. I didn't want to do that, so I just requested driving school. I went to class today for it, and NO TEACHER SHOWED UP! What the heck? We called the driving school office and they said, "There is no teacher assigned to that class..." What?! Wow. There's another A+ for Illinois! If we were on a grading scale for the past 10 years, we would be around a 1.2 GPA. I mean, Ryan did such a good job. I think the only good thing is Barack Obama. He has to be my third favorite thing about Illinois. He thirds the second place downtown Chicago which seconds the first, Chicago Cubs.

Either Barack Obama or the NO SMOKING laws...

Day 18

I woke up at 5:30 this morning. I folded some clothes, watched the news, showered and casually drove to work. Shouldn't it be like that everyday? Well, it was nice. It all started with me being in bed at 10 o'clock. Class got out early last night. It all just worked! I do have class tonight though. That is a bummer. I'm going to have to answer "kwesgjians" to get my "bonus poinsh." No offense towards professor Lee, but, he needs to work on his english.

I spend a lot of my time with Sarah and I noticed something. She makes up break times just to have a cigarette. Hmmm? I used to be that way. I would come up with a name for a period of time and it had the name "smokey" in it. It's fun to look back and laugh. I should have spent more time being taken over by Jesus, not nicotine. After I showered today, I was thinking about how good I smelled and it made me conscious of how I used to ruin that and go into work/school smelling like a loser. Think about it. You are a teacher/boss and you are evaluating your student/employee. There are two of them. One smokes, one doesn't. Doesn't your mind lean towards the non-smoker? Think of how dependant they make themselves look. They rely on a nasty rolled up death stick to keep their minds going. Is that someone you want working or representing you? No way.

Day 17

This is going to be really short. Some words of wisdom to you all; Set as many alarms in the morning as you can. I woke up late for work again today. That is my second write up of the month. I gotta get myself up in the morning. I don't know if it was Professor Lee's lecture last night that killed me, or if it was being exhausted in general. I don't know. Remember to set your alarm in the morning.

Day 16

This has nothing to do with what happened today.

I was recently tagged in a note on facebook that was not so much bashing liberals, but aiming only at the huge argumentative wall known as abortion. It was a note that talked about a group, FOCA (The Freedom of Choice Act). I have no clue why us as Christians would think it is a good idea to support such a group. But you have to think really hard before you say anything. It is our God given right to love people. I love everybody, and think murder is wrong. Abortion is murder, right? That is correct, it indeed is.

I am pro-life. I believe that abortion is wrong and disgusting. It is immoral and gives a bad image to women. It sounds so trashy to say, "I just got an abortion instead." BUT, even though I am a Christian individual, who has learned the ways of the Lord, knows that it is not out God given right to choose for these people. It is our God given right to love and to pray.

If you are against abortions, then utilize the most powerful thing the Lord has given us all; our love. Pray for these people, love them with your whole heart. Barack Obama is not pro-abortion. He is pro-CHOICE. Human can murder their wives, their co-workers, a complete stranger, whether it is legal or illegal, they will still have the choice.

P.S., I didn't smoke today. :)

Day 13-15

I understand that I haven't posted a blog in 3 days. I promised this wouldn't happen, so I am made a liar. Forgive me. To make up for it, you get to listen to what I did this weekend. Friday night, after work, I came home to poker. It was awesome. I knew it was going to be fun because my stepmom came in my room and asked me if I was hungry (I hadn't eaten all day). There's an awesome start. Next thing I know, I'm eating the best meatloaf of my life. Then I find out we are going to have an awesome turnout. Sweet! My night keeps getting better. We start up the tourney and I am the first out.

This is a setback. I'm pissed off and I go up in my room and play guitar to clear my head. It just sucks that the guy that took me out, was the drunkest of them all. Nobody was really liking this guy at all (no offense, Don). Once I started feeling better, I went downstairs looking to start a side-game. Only two people and the drunk dude wanted to play. Needless, to say, we didn't play. The came to a near closing and it was time for the drunken idiot to get going. I am getting so frustrated with this guy that I start pacing. After one lap, I look over and the guy is laying on the floor.

We carried his drunk you-know-what out to the car. Problem solved. After that, we played a cash game, I won over 100 dollares and we called it a night... Or so I thought. JB and I go up to McDonalds and treat ourselves. Upon return, he and I continue to play more poker. Forgive me for not clarifying what time it was, but we got back to my house at 3 in the morning. After lollygagging around, we decided to REALLY call it quits. JB left and I played another tournament online till 6 AM.

Saturday morning, I am awoke by a phone call at 8:30 that it was time to get up. What the heck, I'm not ready to be alive! But I had to because it was Sarah's graduation ceremony! The ceremony was a smooth sail (with a bit of tears from the Mother), and the lunch after was too. We went to Mongolian Barbecue up in Bolingbrook. We stopped to shop a little bit and Sarah finally spent her American Eagle gift card. We get back to the Krohn's and I sit down and find myself playing ANOTHER poker tourney online. I played it for 4 hours.

All of us decided to go to Sonic in Lockport. As we are looking at the menu and across the way, I spotted a CiCi's Pizza. I screamed with great joy at the thought of a pizza buffet. I was so excited. If I were a dog, my tail would so be wagging. We made our way there and I proceeded to eat 13 pieces of pizza and some dessert. It hurt so bad that I had to lay across poor Sarah in the back seat to be somewhat comfy.

Movie Gallery saved our evening with some B grade horror movies. I fell asleep, woke up, and went home, to fall asleep again. 7:30 rolled around, I got up, I went to work, I came home and went bowling in Woodridge. I did bad. I think my high game was a 115? Something of that class. Anywho, I came back to the N.L. and sat at Sarah's house. I played darts with Heather, Chris, and Hannah and got my butt whooped. Went to ANOTHER poker tourney and finished 11th out of 31. Not bad, I suppose....

I really enjoyed my weekend. I got to spend some time with everybody! I spent time with my dad, with my mom at the bowling alley, with my baby doll, with her family, and especially with Jesus. It was nice. I know I didn't mention it, but He was a huge part of my weekend too. Doing all these things makes me feel good that I didn't smoke. If you see a movie where they are playing poker, someone is smoking. If you watch a movie about bowling, someone smokes! I am so good!

Day 12

It has been 12 days since the nicotine left my body. It still feels good. I had a huge supper today and afterword, I thought about how I would normally go outside the instant I was done eating and light a cigarette. Oh, it was so good. But then I realized, how pathetic is that? My diet included a serving of tar with a spoonful of nicotine. Sounds appetizing. Just imagining that picture in my head made me nauseous. It is a good tool to use in quitting smoking. Nikomas sent me these pictures when I was in the physical quitting part.

I know, sickening. But it's images like this that really do help. I know it seems odd, but trust me, it worked! Another good point is that I know I don't ever want to look like that. I know everybody says "That will never happen to me!" Wrong. Look at these two people. I'm sure they said that when they first started smoking. Now look at them. Sexy. Don't take the risk. As you can see, it's not worth it.

Day 10 & 11

Why does laundry suck so much? It just feels like I am going to start a fire when I pick up a fresh dried cotton garment with my dried out claws. So in the winter time, I just decide to leave it in baskets laying around my room. It's so much easier to access anyways. Sorry, just a side thought.

Well, I realized that I actually missed two days, thanks to a good friend of mine (John Hajek). So, I am going to make up for that by just typing that this represents two days. It makes my life easier, so get over it.

I am truly convinced that writing about how much smoking sucks has really helped me stay away from it. I put myself in this mindset that smoking is just a burden on me and my friends/family. I mean seriously, which one of us does it benefit? It makes me look like a fool, and makes you think I am a fool. What can I get from it? This is me being very cynical, but I don't get high from it, it doesn't taste good, it smells like poop, and there is NO health benefits (I don't care what facts you tell me, there are NONE). So me sitting here writing this helps me hate it more!

Days 8 and 9

As you can see, I missed a day. Not a biggie. New president, eh? I am so excited to see some change. I am really happy that Barack was sworn in today with no flaws. A lot of people ask me, all the time, "How can you vote for a pro-choice candidate and still be a Christian?" Well, that answer was answered by a close friend of mine, Nikomas Perez.

I am almost 100 percent sure that Obama was the better politician, with better changes for America. He supports the end of this war. He is pro-labor unions, unlike McCain. He is all for boosting our economy back to full health. These are all awesome things, right? Well a lot of my left sided friends will say, "What about abortion?! What will he do for abortion??!?!?!" I simply say shananigans. Look at republicans. 20 out of the last 28 presidents were republicans. Not a single one of them has done anything to reverse the abortion laws. So how is that for dignifying?

Sorry, I didn't mean to get all political, but today is just such a political day! I really enjoyed Obama's speech. I also enjoyed seeing the celebrating. I also enjoyed knowing that smoking made me sick. I am not going to lie, but tonight, I took a puff of a cigarette. DO NOT THINK I AM GOING BACK! I did it for a self-research sort of thingy. I wanted to see how away I really was. The single puff made me light headed and dizzy. I immediatley felt sick. I then felt very dirty. I had to stop at Walgreens so I could buy some mouthwash. I needed that puff; it proved to me that I will never go back to those cancer-forming, nasty, habit-forming, health-ruining sin sticks ever again.

Day 7

I got into a public swearing match today. It was testosterone on testosterone bull crap. Basically, a friend of mine and I got into a fight about nothing. I took it to a personal level, he brought it to a personal level. It was ugly. But I didn't smoke today. Actually, when I left the convention, there were close to 2o people smoking. The smell made me want to vomit.

I have really grown the opposite of addicted to cigarettes. I'm like a walking campaign for anti-smoking companies. It's nice to stand for something so awesome and positive. I am hopefully going to write a book about this (my journey to quitting) and send a message to teens and young adults everywhere. I would really like some feedback about this choice. I want to know if it is something you would read or just find stupid. I would love your support and ideas.

Day 6

Have you ever felt like a giddy little school girl? I can't get that feeling out of my mind! I am at the 24th Cubs Convention. My sister and I got tickets and have been planning for this weekend since a little after Thanksgiving. I met Jim Hendry, general manager of the Cubs. I waved at Ernie Banks. I was 50 feet from Carlos Zambrano. This is going to be happening all weekend! The best part is, I'm not going to miss a minute of this because I am outside smoking.



There is nothing in it for me anymore. There is no incentive for me to keep buying cigarettes. I wouldn't find it enjoyable. I more than likely would not get that instant gratification anymore. It's nice to not have to be outside period. It's like -5 outside (not an exaggeration). I feel clean all the time and I love it.



Quitting smoking was awesome. I know I am always saying the same thing, but I am still just that excited! I love not smoking. Thank you Nikomas. You made me a better person.

Day 5

Today is the coldest day we have seen in about 10 years. It is so frigid outside when I got to work, I spilled some water outside and it instantly froze. If you are outside for more than just a couple minutes, your digits start to burn and hurt really bad. I was sitting on the couch at the Krohn's house and I started watching Fox News and saw that there was a plane crash in New York. This was the first fatal plane crash in two years. Two years? That is a good thing? I would want something more like 10 years between plane crashes! Two years?!

It is getting harder and harder to blog about smoking since I rarely think about it anymore. When I left work, I got in my car and thought about what I would be doing after work if it were a month and a half earlier. Obviously smoking a cigarette. It's nice not to be dependant on something so simple as my car window NOT being frozen. I remember when that used to be my biggest nightmare! Things are still going smoothly.

I will be packing later today for the Cubs Convention this weekend. Tomorrow morning, I am going downtown to stay at the Hotel Blake. There is a pool and a comfy getaway room. It should be nice to relax and get back into baseball mode! Go cubs go!!

Day 4

Tonight was poker night. I'm sure you're wondering why I am at poker when I am supposed to have class. well , due to inclement weather, class was cancelled! Booyah! Anyways. I told the head of the league that I was going to be taking a break from poker. But class got cancelled and I wanted to go! I won tonight. It was a very nice rebound from last week when I got sucked out really bad by the worst poker player in the world. Anyways, this is the first blog about poker league. We get breaks about every hour. I was there for two of the breaks and I did not once even think about going outside to lightup. Well, it was also like 20 below. I remember when I thought it was a fad to get up and put my coat on with my friends and stand outside in the damaging cold and have a smoke. This makes me a sad person because that is the dumbest thing I think I have ever said. Cigarettes did nothing but empty my pockets. I'm still broke anyways, but I bought something more useful, like a pair of gloves.

Day 3

I had my first college math class today. It wasn't what I expected. The most difficult thing we cover, is the trigonomic identities, which I learned in March of 2008. This makes me sad. I don't remember if I said this in the last blog, but my physics class I am in is a joke too. We cover algebraic physics, not calculus based, which is what I was learning second semester of my Senior year. I am so mad at myself. I feel like I am wasting my money. I also started english today. Wow, what a crap shoot. Over the course of 13 weeks, we are writing 7 papers, which each have to be 4000 words. Writing was the only thing that kept me from getting in the "C" or "B" area. UGH!

Well, on my way to class tonight, something sort of funny happened. Me and Sarah carpool to class on Tuesday nights. Sarah never quit smoking, despite my choice (I'm not mad at her for no quitting nor am I trying to make it seem that way. This is just for my points sake). Well, we started driving and she couldn't get the window down. I told her to try pushing it down because it was frozen. She tried that and she tried banging on it. Inside I am laughing my pants off. I start to feel bad so the next side-street-stop sign we came to, I got out and pushed really hard and opened it. She smiled at me and said, "Thank you, baby!" She lit up, and we went on our way!.... Good story, right?

Did you notice anything about that story? Sarah smoked right in front of me, and I did nothing. I wasn't even thinking about smoking a cigarette. The smell was so strong and potent, but I didn't want to say anything because it didn't even really bother me. I just think it is a huge chunk of progress that I have been basically presented with cigarettes and have not even thought twice about them! Smoking-0 Me-1.

Day 2

I started school today. I had Physics 101 with Dr. Lee. It got cancelled. It was kind of a nice introduction to my college career. "Campus will be closing at 7:30." I wish that happened every Monday and Wednesday! This is, obviously, the second day of blogging as a non-smoker. It still feels good to look back and see how pathetic I was. If I was ever given some sort of break, I would go out and smoke. We had a 10 minute break in class today and all I did was call J.B. Until I found out school was cancelled! Snow night! So basically, I am still trucking strong as a non-smoker. I am so proud of myself! Thank you again for reading. By simply reading this, you are supporting me, even if I don't know you read it.

Day 1

This is the first of thirty blogs of my non-smoking life. I am excited! I feel so good about myself now. When I am with my friends, I have the power to say, "Nope, I quit." I am so happy Nikomas came up with this awesome plan. I did cheat a little bit, but I am still happy with the result. I feel so clean and healthy. I love not smelling like smoke. I have such a new sense of pride. You have no clue how happy I get when someone asks me to go outside and smoke. All I do is give them a non-chalant glance/shake type of thing and loud and clear say, "I quit smoking, sorry." I feel really good about myself. It is probably the biggest feat I have ever accomplished. It wasn't an easy task, but it was worth it. Sorry, for making you read a giddy little school girls story. I am just so excited! Well, for the next 30 days, I will be blogging about being a non-smoker. Hope you enjoy reading!

Middle to the present

I had smoked for about three years. All though I'm only 18 years old, that does sound pathetic, I know. It was always a way for me to relax, or kill time as I called it. I am not going to lie, but smoking is enjoyable to me (Or was, rather). All of the people I was hanging around usually smoked, so I did it too. It's natural, it just happens like that. I was always afraid of being caught, you know, the usual teenager fear. That was a social event for me. The reason I have been blogging about smoking this whole time is because as of tomorrow, I am a 100% non-smoker. The nicotine will be out of my body. This is such an accomplishment to me. But I want to thank some people, first. Nikomas Perez is the man who put the whole thing together. This was his masterminded plan. Thanks, Niko. Ted Krohn was my accountability. He was the muscle that kept me bound in a non-smoking bind. Thanks, Ted. Stephen King was the man who would call me and give me encouragement. Although he did slip a little at the end, I really appreciate him helping me out. A lot of people did make it easy for me to slip a few times, but that's OK, I got past that. Last of all, I want to thank the Lord of Lords, the King of Kings, and the Savior of my life, Jesus Christ. Prayer and hope kept me going the whole time. Thank you, Lord for everything.

Now that the smoking rant is over, I will continue my 3-month-delayed story. All the bad people had influences on me. I started smoking pot, I started drinking at "partys"(Which I really don't understand why they are called parties. What are they celebrating? Getting wasted? That's something to celebrate!). It was just a bad time for me. I started getting into more parties which led to me experimenting more. I tried cocaine for the first time in my life at age 15. I did acid at 16, I smoked crack at 16, and I ate shrooms for about one and a half years. I was confused! One day I was smoking pot and got a phone call from my dad, telling me, and I quote "get my ass home." Of course I obeyed and hurried my way home. I get there and both of my parents are at my house... They have been divorced for 15 years. Well, needless to say, they were confronting me about a "drug problem." Which it was, don't get me wrong. They found out I was smoking pot, they told me Intervention style, and it was gone. Just like that. I had no urge to get high! To this day, I consider myself to be anti-drug. I love my life! But there is a vice which I still have. It's not an addiction or a problem, I just still drink at "parties." Does that make me a bad person? I don't know. I am still a confused kid.


Well, working at the bank is officially one of the greatest things to ever happen to me! I drive a 1998 Chevy Cavalier Z24 which I financed through this bank. I have a girl friend, Sarah, of a year and a half. I love my God. I have a passion for music. I consider myself a really good card player. I love the Cubs! Go Cubs Go! I am in school to be a Physics teacher. E=MC2. I make good money and my bills add up to a decent amount of money less than what I make! I am a mommas boy, but I live with my dad. Me and my dad bond over one thing: Texas Hold'em Poker. I have a ton of families (The Homerding's The Burns The Krohn's The Pate's).

I have gained 25 pounds since quitting smoking. I have anger problems. I am pretty sure I have anxiety issues. I have trust issues. I am very easy to "trigger." My prioritizing skills are horrible. I drink sometimes. I swear like a pirate sometimes. I forget who means the most to me. I don't show enough affection. I drive like a jerk. I lie sometimes.

We are all bad people sometimes. I try not to think of it as being so bad. All I do is erase it from my mind and beg the Lord for redemption. Don't let it get to you. That was my problem!

Well, now you know about me. Maybe I'll keep this blog updated someday!